Welcome

Singles with Scruples History

Chapter I

Singles with Scruples was launched in May 1999 by Sue Bergin and her friend Dave Dowler.
Sue says, "We created this site because we couldn't find what we wanted for ourselves in an online dating service -- a nondenominational site designed to attract people of sound character and high ethics."

"Our purpose is to help you find someone who, like you, cares more about character and integrity than about money and appearance. While we have nothing against money or good looks, we believe they're poor indicators of a person's ability to be in a loving, trusting, lasting relationship. People with scruples are a much better risk."

Sue explains, "We're not Victorian prudes, and we do not want to see a world devoid of the beautiful differences between men and women. However, like you, we have browsed personals ads on the Net and found no shortage of sites that cater to prurient interests. We wanted something different, and we've gone to a lot of trouble and expense to create it, and we're not willing to compromise much on the issue of offensive material."

"Profiles and images found with coarse, crude, lewd, or overly sexual material will be dealt with in one of two ways. Material that is blatantly offensive will be deleted without notice. Members with profiles containing marginal or ambiguous material will be notified of our concern and given a chance to change the content. There's a vast ocean of smut on the Net, and we intend our site to be a safe haven from it."

Chapter II

As time passed the membership grew and grew. Yet the success was almost the undoing of this singles site. As word spread and the press picked up on the unique values of Singles with Scruples, the membership grew. And grew. Tasks that were easy for a hundred or two hundred members soon started to become impossible for thousands of members. The software could not be upgraded due to the great expense and time required to create a custom programming solution. Having other interests, Sue was ready to close up the shop. She sent an email to the membership stating that the day of reconing was just around the corner. The date was set to 5 p.m. mountain time on Friday, December 5, 2003.

One of those members was Kelly Thomas. Recently married, Kelly was surprised to find a note from Singles with Scruples and even more surprised to find that the site was closing while the online dating industry was expanding. An offer was made, tires were kicked, coffee was drank, we slept on it and an agreement was reached that Kelly would become the new owner of the site on February 1, 2004 and see that the necessary changes would be made to offer modern features and more automation for the membership. Sue is still around as a consultant. Kelly immediately brought in Kirk Skaar of Crescent Technologies who worked feverishly to convert nearly ten thousand members from the old Singles with Scruples and import the data into the new software. We hope you enjoy Chapter II.

Best wishes and Happy Honey Hunting!

From All of Us
Sue, Kelly & Kirk

Singles with Scruples In the News

Singles with Scruples has been featured or mentioned in dozens of publications and on many radio shows since the site was launched in May 1999.
Some highlights:

The Kim Komando National TalkRadio E-Zine, May 19, 2001
CyberSpeak USA Today Columnist, Kim Komando, March 11, 2002
This 300,000-circulation email newsletter, published by one of the top 10 most listened to radio shows in the United States, ran an article about online romance and put Singles with Scruples at the top of their list: "So when it's time to fire up the modem and set your course for a new adventure, just where are you going to go to find true romance online? A good place to start is at one of the larger sites, which offer listings in all kinds of categories. Singles with Scruples is a promising site that offers a free trial."
The Washington Times, February 14, 2001
Writer Christian Toto and photographer Maya Alleruzzo collaborated for a full-page Valentine's Day spread about Singles with Scruples and one of its many success stories -- Steve and Carolyn Sharp. The two were widowed during the same week in January 1999, met through SwS in November 1999, and were married in July 2000. Carolyn told Toto that signing on with SwS was "the best thing I ever did."
WorldNetDaily, January 31, 2001
This popular conservative online daily newspaper ran a page 1 story about Singles with Scruples with the headline: "Online dating site pushes traditional values: Singles with Scruples focuses on 'character and integrity' of members."
Click here for the full story, written by Jon Dougherty
The Economist, September 2000
What's an article about online dating doing in The Economist? It seems the topic matters to its readers. Singles with Scruples gets a short mention as one of the Internet's niche dating services. The article likens Net dating to shopping, and ends with this: "You go out looking for one thing, and come back with something else. But for single people longing for a suitable partner, here at least is a different way of finding one."
Deseret News, August 2000
"Long discussions with her single friend David Dowler had focused on their mutual frustration with online dating services that attracted everything from married people posing as single to those simply looking for a one-night stand."

"The two had toyed with the idea of starting their own service "focused on people who put integrity, honor and morality high on their priority list. Other than some religion-based sites where people are looking for someone of the same denomination, you can't find that kind of (moral) thing out there." So they did something about it. ... "

"Members run the age range from 18 to 78, she said, and several relationships that started on the site have already become marriages."
Click here for the full story, written by Carrie A. Moore
Vanity Fair, June 2000
On page 242 in the "Fanfair" section, Vanity Fair writer Patricia Marx reviews 16 on-line dating sites. She mentions a few disappointing large sites, then says:

"The specialized sites seemed more promising. There is . . . singleswithscruples.com, 'where singles meet based on the mutual belief that character and integrity matter'.
48 Hours (CBS), February 14, 2000
For Valentine's Day, the Dan Rather-hosted news program did a long segment about online dating. Though Singles with Scruples wasn't officially mentioned, the site was flashed on the screen for a nanosecond. A few people joined SwS as a result, all of them with either very sharp eyes or a VCR with freeze-frame.
Los Angeles Times, February 13, 2000
An article in the Southern California Living section, "Dates that Click" by Mimi Avins, started out with this paragraph:

"Anyone who doesn't have a date for Valentine's Day just isn't plugged in. Literally. With more than 1,200 dating sites operating on the World Wide Web, someone to toast the most romantic holidays with could be just a few mouse clicks away."

About two-thirds of the way into this very long piece, the writer describes the depth and breadth of matchmaking sites on the Web, including Singles with Scruples:

"There are interracial, Asian and Latino sites, sites for people with disabilities and those who want to meet them, Jewish, Catholic and Buddhist sites. Singles With Scruples.com bills itself as "a nondenominational site designed to attract people of sound character and high ethics. There are plenty of sites out there that talk about `quality' people, but when you look a little closer it turns out they use the word `quality' as code for wealthy or good looking," the site states. "We have nothing against money or beauty, but they're poor indicators of a person's ability to be in a loving, trusting, lasting relationship."
The New York Times, September 30, 1999
In early September, we discovered that a pornographer in North Wales had cloned portions of the Singles with Scruples website and was redirecting some of our traffic to his site. We immediately took aggressive action, including express mailing a cease and desist letter, contacting the Federal Trade Commission, and asking Alta Vista to remove the pornographer's site from their listing.

The action that seemed to make a difference was inviting the New York Times to write an article about us - a small service with very limited resources for fighting a sleazy outfit located in another country. Reporter Catherine Greenman wrote the story, headlined "For Internet Dating Site, a Seamy Surprise." The first few paragraphs were as follows:

"Sue Bergin, the creator of an on-line matchmaking service, recently used the Alta Vista search engine to determine how easy it was to find her Web site, called singleswithscruples.com. After typing "singles with scruples" into the search box, Ms. Bergin was glad to see her site come up first on the list of results.

"But when she scrolled down the list, Ms. Bergin noticed that one of the other results posted appeared to be a repeat listing of her site. The title line, "Singles with Scruples Dating, Friendship and Matchmaker Service," as well as the descriptive sentence beneath it, were identical, word for word. Only the Internet address was different.

"When Ms. Bergin clicked on the listing and saw what looked to be an on-line dating site called Net Encounters, she grew more and more annoyed that someone had used her domain name to attract Web surfers to another dating site. But when she clicked on the site's Links icon and saw links to pornographic photos, she was horrified.

"It was a pornography site disguised as a dating site, and anyone looking for my site with a search engine could have come across it," Ms. Bergin said. "Needless to say, I was upset."

For copyright reasons, we cannot reprint the entire article, but you get the gist.
The New York Times, August 26, 1999
In an article of the Circuits section entitled "You've Got Romance! Seeking Love on Line," writer Bonnie Rothman Morris reports on the joys and perils of Internet romance. Describing an online index of singles sites, the article says:

"At first . . . Cupid Network listed only a handful of sites. Today, the 2,500 linked sites are broken down by region, religion, race, sexual preferences and even values, as evidenced by a site called Singles With Scruples (www.singleswithscruples.com), a free service that says it caters to singles with "character, integrity and service to others."
This article was reprinted in newspapers throughout the nation. New York magazine, November 8, 1999
This issue of New York was devoted to single life in New York City. On page 39, the magazine's editors detailed a few of their favorite online matchmaking sites. Their description of Singles with Scruples was written with a certain, shall we say, attitude.

"For love with the (very) proper stranger, Singles With Scruples offers free access to a database of moral singles and their photos-not that appearance matters, of course. Members are not scrupulously screened ("We believe in personal responsibility," the management explains), but contact can be anonymous as long as your new sweetie's character remains in question."
KTSA 550 AM Radio, San Antonio, Texas, October 2, 1999
Singles with Scruples co-founder and owner Sue Bergin was the guest of Jack Landman, host of Cybercity on Saturday nights in San Antonio, Texas. They discussed the problem of a pornographer cloning portions of Singles with Scruples and took calls from listeners. Mr. Landman's staff tried to reach the pornographer to invite him to be part of the discussion, but they could not locate him. Sue let KTSA know that if they did find the slimeball, she would decline to share a forum with him.
WCBS 88 AM Radio, New York City, July 16, 1999
Host and commentator Harley Carnes named Singles with Scruples his "Hot Site" of the day during his daily Internet Minute segment. Here's what he said:

"Singles with scruples - now there's a concept. Singles who aren't looking to score the first night out, not because that's how you're supposed to play the game. Because that's who they are, and the choice they make through character.

"It's a matchmaking service - online - for people of good character. By good character, the creators are talking about honor and integrity - not wealth and good looks. Beauty really is only skin deep, after all - unless you are lucky enough to find a beautiful person through and through. They are out there, and www.singleswithscruples.com claims to have found some of them.

"By the way, all e-mail messages are sent through an anonymous remailer. That way, your actual identity or e-mail address is protected from someone who is scruples challenged but manages to get into the system.

"They have a simple fix for the problem, too. If you don't want to hear from another member anymore, or ever again - you click a box that says so, and bing - they can't e-mail you."
Third Age, May 14, 1999
This popular online magazine for folks in their "third age" - 45 and above - ran a very nice piece about us just four days after we launched. It read, in part:

"Looking for love? If you're mainly interested in a pretty face or a fat wallet, Singles With Scruples is not for you.

"Founders Sue Bergin and Dave Dowler have crafted a nondenominational site designed to attract people of sound character and high ethics. If you're looking for someone with true inner beauty and compatibility, they may have your perfect match."